Archive for December, 2007

DXP Bowl Extravaganza: Part 2, Take 8

December 27, 2007

Bowl Season: 4-2 ATS (66%)

We have to admit we are a little disappointed even though we started off 4-2 Against The Spread. If you are Purdue, how do you not cover 8 points vs. a team that you were up 31-0 on earlier this year and 34-14 at halftime of this game, have 546 yards of passing, and not have Kevin Cosgrove as your Defensive Coordinator? Blows my mind.

However, going 4-2 still should have allowed you to buy your buddies vintage Christmas gifts like this……..


Even gifts for Lincoln, NE’s own Melissa Midwest…….

(Pssst, Melissa, everytime I have tried to call you back I get CrimeStoppers. I think our lines are getting crossed. Call me.)

SAMMY VEGAS

EMERALD BOWL
4* MARYLAND (+5.5) over Oregon State:
Ralph Friedgen has won 3 bowl games in a row by a combined 95-17 and he continues to be one of the most underrated coaches in football. Oregon State runs a two QB system that has produced them a combined 10 Touchdowns to 20 Interceptions this year. Oregon State does have a great defense, but Maryland has a more aggressive offense than me after a 200 dollar tab and a lap dance; not to mention a much better coach.

LIBERTY BOWL
3* CENTRAL FLORIDA (-3) over Mississippi State:
Write this name down. Kevin Smith. UCF’s star RB is returning next year to college and should be atop of the Heisman race immediately. He has 2,549 yards this year rushing alone and needs 181 yards to break Barry Sanders’ single season record. Not to be overlooked, UCF’s defense was more solid than any girl I have approached after midnight in a long time that is not in a strip club. They allowed 3.8 yards/rush and had 38 sacks. Sylvester Croom is doing well at MSU with a 7-5 record in the brutal SEC and this game is close to home at Memphis, TN. These two teams played UAB this year – UCF had 506 yards of offense and MSU had 284. Go with the better skill players and better D with Central Florida.

ALAMO BOWL
2* TEXAS A&M (+6) over Penn State:
The Aggies are only a 2 hour drive from the Alamo Bowl in Houston, TX. They lost their last 4 of 5 games after starting 5-1 and HC Dennis Franchione is gone after a win over Texas. Penn State was gold at the beginning of the year for us, but once again Joe Pa proved that he can recruit the best talent on the east coast and do nothing with it. Penn State has a great D and A&M can only run the ball in a one dimensional offense. The so called ‘Bowl Genius’ Paterno needs to go grab a beer with Bobby Bowden and ride off in the sunset. This game is sold out and guess by who? A&M on the money line please.

CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL
1* BOSTON COLLEGE (-4) over Michigan State:
BC was outgained in total offense by one team all year and that was Maryland by 6 yards. BC QB Matt Ryan is a great QB but has had 18 INTs this year. However, you know when you see college athletes that should be professionals and Matt Ryan is one of them. It’s just like that hot girl at the bar that you approach and she talks to you, and you somehow wonder if she is going to negotiate a price with you at last call. Now you know you are out of your league.

TIMMY ROSE

MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL
4* WAKE FOREST(-2.5) over UConn
– I’ll give you a winner in this one, but don’t ask Vegas or I how the former Continental Tire Bowl has not gone bankrupt and still attracts two BCS conference teams. UConn may the most overrated team in America and even in the Huskies three signature Big East wins (L’Ville, Rutgers, S. Florida), they were outgained in each game and outgained by over 100 yards in 2 of the 3 games. These teams are headed in different directions as UConn was blown out in 2 of their last 3 games, while Wake is a game-ending missed FG (Virginia) away from winning 9 of their last 10 games. Wake gives up just over 3 yards per rush and 100 rushing yards per game and their front seven will dominate UConn in a surprisingly easy victory in this one.

TEXAS BOWL
2* TCU (-4.5) over Houston
– This marks the second time in the 7 year history of the former Houston Bowl that an all-Texas game will be played as the Horned Frogs played Texas A&M in the inaugural game back in 2001. TCU’s offense, which did not score more than 27 points until the 7th game of the season against Stanford, has come alive and is averaging almost 35 points per game and 450 yards over the last 4 games, including a 694 yard performance in a 45-33 win over San Diego State. The key has been consistent QB play from Dalton and a solid rushing attack. The favorite has covered every game in this bowl’s history and as much as it pains A. Rose to bet against Cougars, we’re going with the much better defense in this one.

INDEPENDENCE BOWL
2* COLORADO (+3.5) over Alabama
– Watching Dr. D’s ‘Helmet Cam’ at the Indiana bars will be more entertaining than this one. Other than the 65 that the Pinkshirts gave up to the Buffs, both offenses have looked pretty weak over the last month of the season. The Crimson Tide rolls into bowl season on a 4-game losing streak, highlighted by a ‘catastrophic’ 21-14 loss to Louisiana-Monroe. Crimson Tide alumns may want to try to get some of that $5 million per season back from Saban before he bolts for the Arkansas opening next year. Alabama has won 3 games by 6 points or less and have found a way to play down to their competition all season. We’ll take the Buffs and the points in this one, but will be watching Cinemax by halftime.

HOLIDAY BOWL

1* Texas (-2) over Arizona State
– This year’s Holiday Bowl could be a high-scoring affair as neither defense has looked good against Bowl teams this season. Texas is giving up almost 30 points per game to bowl teams while the Sun Devils are giving up 26. ASU’s has dealt with multiple injuries to its front seven this year and now must replace starting LB Wooten, lost to suspension for this one. They will have trouble containing RB Charles who is averaging over 190 yards per game over the last 4, including a 290 yard effort against the now jobless defensive coordinator Kevin Cosgrove. While the Sun Devils have a clear edge in female talent in the classroom (although we hear Texas girls are much easier), we’ll take the Longhorns to jump to an early lead and control the line of scrimmage in this one.

Sammy Vegas (with my wife pictured here), Timmy Rose, Jeffie Husker, and Dr. D wishes everyone a Happy New Year and wants you know that we’ll be back Saturday for most of the rest of the bowl games…

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE DXP GANG!

Mo Purify Highlights

December 23, 2007


Here is a nice collection of Maurice Purify highlights from last season. I pay tribute to Mo for being one of the few players who didn’t suck during the 2007 campaign.

DXP Bowl Extravaganza: Part 1, Take 6

December 21, 2007

Snow falling… Credit cards getting maxed out… Waking up next to a college girl home for the holiday… Snuggling with her at 7 a.m. wondering if you had to pay for her… Calling the strip club you were at last night to find out if your credit card is still there – better yet, if the card is still open… Gambling on the first week of bowl games… Finally… It’s Christmas!!

We have been doing extensive research for the bowl games and we will not only guarantee extremely hot college girls but also a few facts about some college football games that will pay for your Mom’s Christmas present AND your New Year’s Eve date. Hold on, I am starting to get some Alec Baldwin Schweaty Balls making guarantees like that….enjoy the best SNL video of all time outside Chris Farley until we get back.

‘Take the Double Extra Points’
Regular Season Final: 73-66-1 (53%)
Bowl Season: ?!?!?!?!!!!!!

(NOTE: ON A 5 STAR SYSTEM)

SAMMY VEGAS

NEW MEXICO BOWL
4* NEW MEXICO (-3) over Nevada: Who better to send to the New Mexico Bowl than New Mexico? That’s like sending me to play at the Razzle Dazzle – although you would like to think your friends don’t think you play there that much, it is in reality your home field and you’re quite comfortable. Nevada has come around this season after the #2 Dual-Threat QB Kaepernik was inserted and has now accumulated 19 TDs/3Ints and was the WAC Fr. of the Year. Although Nevada was impressive the last 3 games in which one they lost to Hawaii by 2 at home, they are getting way too many points. New Mexico has better wins and a much better defense. Did I mention they are at home?

NEW ORLEANS BOWL
2* FLORIDA ATLANTIC (-3) over Memphis: Captain Kangaroo and the Owls will fly to New Orleans to take on the Memphis Tigers. Wow. A thriller. That’s where gambling comes in. Opponents just can’t take Capt. Kangaroo and his Owls serious as he is 8-2 ATS his last 10 games. This guy did beat Tom Osborne with an inferior team and he’ll beat Memphis here with a superior team. FAU’s QB Rusty Smith has 3352 yards and 27 TDs on the season and Memphis’ QB Martin Hankins has 2939yards and 22 TDs on the season. Points will be scored, drinks will be had on Bourbon St., and the Memphis girls will be groped. That takes money and that’s why we take FAU.

LAS VEGAS BOWL
2* UCLA (+6.5) over BYU: UCLA won the first game this year between these two teams 27-17 where the Bruins outgained BYU by almost 200 yards of offense. UCLA has lost their coach, lost the last 4 out of 5, and in fact, was asked by the Las Vegas Bowl that they decline their bid for Cal to take their place. No dice. UCLA has QB Ben Olson back at 100% as well as a slew of others who looked great vs. USC. In an interesting side note, interim HC and DC Walker once coached at BYU and in fact played with BYU head coach Mendenhall who are both candidates for the UCLA job. Who do you think the players will want? The Stormin’ Mormon’s QB’s name is Max Hall. Upon getting accepted to BYU, he agreed to change it to Hall from Load. Apparently, girls in Utah wouldn’t get it.

TIMMY ROSE

MOTOR CITY BOWL
4* PURDUE (-8) over Central Michigan: Let me get this one straight: Purdue beat Central Michigan by 23 points as a 22 point favorite back in September after leading 38-0 in the 3rd quarter and are giving up just over a touchdown 3 months later? I said the same thing a few weeks ago as UCF blew out Tulsa for the 2nd time this year and won all of you DXPers a solid $5. While the first game was in West Lafayette, there is no reason to expect a different result in the dome in Detroit. Purdue had over 400 yards in that game . . . by halftime. It was almost as if the Chippewas were being coached by Kevin Cosgrove. By the way, did he get an NAIA coordinator job yet? You won’t see many seasons where a team loses by 30 at home to North Dakota State and is rewarded with a bowl game. Expect another blowout in this one as Purdue will move the ball at will against the over-rated MAC champion.

HAWAII BOWL
3* BOISE STATE (-10.5) over East Carolina: HC Peterson and the Broncos can’t wait to return to the islands and get at least partial redemption for the Nov 23rd loss to Hawaii that decided the WAC title. Meanwhile, I fully expect East Carolina’s necks to be more worn out than Dr. D’s after freshman orientation in Bloomington from scoping all of the talent on the beaches near Aloha Stadium. The Broncos have huge edges on both sides of the ball, give up just 20 points per game and 325 yards per game, yet have not faced the level of competition that the Pirates have (6 bowl teams including W. Virginia and V. Tech). East Carolina has covered 3 straight as a dog, but we’ll go with the better defense and the more explosive offense playing with a chip on their shoulder.

PAPAJOHNS.COM BOWL
2* Southern Miss/Cincy UNDER (56): Many of you will be tempted to take Cincy in a blowout over Southern Miss in this one, but keep in mind that Birmingham, AL is not exactly where the Bearcats were hoping to play the week before losing to West Virginia. Cincy was the most fortunate team in all of college football in terms of turnover margin and lead the country in INTs with 23. Southern Miss lead Conference-USA allowing just 23 points per game and under 140 rushing yards per game. The Golden Eagles should have the larger crowd and will be fired up to play for recently fired Coach Bower. Cincy’s defense has been solid all year giving up just 100 yards per game rushing and less than 19 points per game. We don’t see a lot of big plays in this one and will go with the under.

DXP Road Show

December 19, 2007

Jeffie Husker is off and heading back to Nebraska for the Holidays. I plan to update the site during this time, but occasionally family and friends should and do come first.

I get into Lincoln Wednesday afternoon and will be there until the 27th. Nebraska friends – you know where and how to find me.

Hopefully everyone has added a decent linebacker recruit to their Christmas list.

Pelini’s Staff is Official, Kind Of

December 17, 2007

After a few uncertain weeks, Bo Pelini officially announced his coaching staff and there are officially no surprises other than a running backs coach to be named later.

Anyway, here is the staff:

Shawn Watson—Offensive Coordinator/Quarterbacks
Ron Brown—Tight Ends
Barney Cotton—Associate Head Coach/Offensive Line
Ted Gilmore—Assistant Head Coach/Wide Receivers/Recruiting Coordinator
Carl Pelini—Defensive Coordinator/Defensive Line
Mike Ekeler—Linebackers
John Papuchis—Defensive Ends Coach
Marvin Sanders—Secondary Coach

Barney gets the associate head coach label, likely to placate him not being named offensive coordinator. While Ted Gilmore might have the longest official title in the country. The defensive staff is fairly unimpressive on paper, but will certainly have Bo’s fingerprints all over it.

As for the running back coach, he is apparently coaching in a bowl game. Just like our head coach, which makes the hesitation in naming him all the more unusual. Some names being bantered around at this point:

Cale Gundy – OU
Larry Porter – LSU
Stan Drayton – Florida

Obviously any of those would be welcomed by me, especially given their respective recruiting acumen. That is important because in case you haven’t heard, the current staff is not exactly tearing it up on the recruiting trail.

Ines Sainz Pictures of the College Pick ‘Em Winner

December 15, 2007

It is one the worst Saturdays for sports in a long, long time. Insert Ines Sainz. The hottest sports reporter in the World from Mexico that will make your day better. Guaranteed.

Here she is exactly 20 feet away from me (restraining order) ….

Here she is waiting for my phone call….

Here she is trying to make me jealous….

Here she is outside of my hotel room….

Finally, don’t forget to sign up for the DXP Bowl Mania under ‘Double Extra Point’ and attempt to dominate T. Rose and the rest of the other college football fans on ESPN. As far as contests go, our second place winner for College Pick ‘EM apparently was not on the same playing field as the rest of the us. Thanks to new technology and an email, I was able to dig up this check awarded to the second place finisher ‘MizzouHusker’ (M. Goble) from winning the Sporting News college football bowl pick ’em in 2001.

As MizzouHusker said… ‘Some talk about their glory days playing high school football. I guess this is all I have…’

Well, you warmed our hearts. Now warm our hearts again and send us a picture of you in your DXP tee-shirt getting a lapdance…..

Brian McFayden – The Ultimate Husker

December 14, 2007

Looking to kill some time this Friday? You can check out a video of former MTV VJ and Nebraskan Brian McFayden as he heads to Austin to watch the Huskers take on Texas.

Why should you care about Brian McFayden? Well, first he really seems like a legit Husker fan as Tom Osborne nearly brings him to tears and secondly he’s dated some real hotties, including, but not limited to former flame Nicky Hilton.

DXP Bowl Mania

December 14, 2007

It’s time to get the DXP Bowl Mania contest kicked off. Click the link, then go to the ‘Double Extra Point’ group. There you will find a slew of degenerates like us that have nothing to do this off-season besides enjoying gambling, strippers, and vodka – in no particular order.

Update!! Update!!

Our College Pick ‘Em contest ended with T. Rose dominating the field and finishing in the 99.5 percentile. Since he contributes to DXP, he wins nothing. However, he took the contest so serious that he flew to Rome to have this picture taken outside this Roman brothel where he also finished #1 . In fact, according to our money back guarantee, he owes every reader here 10 shekels for wearing a backpack and advising everyone to take Louisville every week in ‘Take the Double Extra Points.’ MizzouHusker finished a close 2nd at the 97.5 percentile and won the second prize (M. Goble – email us from the site here to claim your gift certificate – sorry it is just from a Husker store and not a private lapdance). Sammy Vegas finished third at the 97.4 percentile which won this –

“Third prize will be a front row seat to watching Sammy Vegas pass out after a Saturday chock-full of booze and football.”

Damn, how prophetic.

Well. I’d better get studying on the likes of Central Florida, Houston, Nevada, Florida Atlantic, and Cincinnati. After all, they are bowl worthy.

You know who else is bowl eligible? Tulsa. You know what Tulsa spelled backwards is? A Slut. Yet somehow I can’t find a single picture of a slut from Tulsa worthy of this site.

The DXP Bowl Extravaganza coming soon…

Bo Pelini vs. Tim Tebow AND Chuck Norris

December 13, 2007

By now, I am sure most of you have heard the Tim Tebow vs. Chuck Norris comparison on ESPN after Chuck Norris sent a letter – check that, fax – of congratulations to Tebow after he won the Heisman. What? Total douche bag. Desperate times call for desperate measures. That’s where Sammy comes in. Tim, Chuck – take our guy. We dare you.

Exactly how bad is Bo Pelini…………………

If Bo Pelini was gay, his name would be Tim Tebow.

Bo Pelini’s parents threw him a surprise birthday party when he was young. Once.

Bo Pelini only masturbates to pictures of Bo Pelini.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Pelini now lives in Nebraska.

Bo Pelini can get McDonald’s breakfast after 10:30.

Pelini makes Chuck Norris sit down to pee.

Before Tim Tebow goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Bo Pelini.

Bo Pelini does not tea-bag the ladies. He potato-bags them.

Bo Pelini could kill Chuck Norris nine different ways with his headset and four different ways with his play chart.

Bo Pelini sleeps with a night light. Not because he is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of Bo Pelini.

Bo Pelini can touch MC Hammer.

People wear Superman pajamas to bed. Superman wears Bo Pelini pajamas to bed.

Bo Pelini’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Bo Pelini.

Bo Pelini was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Bo Pelini doesn’t cut his grass, he dares it to grow.

Bo Pelini used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following him to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

They say that Superman’s only weakness is kryptonite. Bo Pelini laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

Bo Pelini’s dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Bo
Pelini will not take shit from anyone.

Bo Pelini once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.

Bo Pelini’s wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says,
“Time to kick ass.”

Bo Pelini once worked as weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Each night the forecast was ’partly cloudy with a 75% of pain.’

Hellen Keller’s favorite color is Bo Pelini.

Bo Pelini recently had an idea to sell his urine in a can. Now it is known as Red Bull.

When Bo Pelini stares at Iowa, he gets popcorn.

Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It is also what Bo Pelini calls the opponents laying in his front yard.

Bo Pelini doesn’t write down plays in his defensive playbook. He stares it down and the plays write themselves.

One time, Bo Pelini stubbed his toe and wiped out the entire state of Ohio.

Bo Pelini eats steak every meal. Most times he forgets to kill Bevo first.

And finally. In a fight between Tim Tebow and Chuck Norris – the winner is……… Bo Pelini.

CFB NIT Update

December 12, 2007

Back to Gopher Nation for all of the action.

In the first round Nebraska took care of Ole Miss 51-45, which sounds like a completely believable score.

I know that everyone still has the 2002 Independence Bowl still fresh in their memories. Cornhusker fans haven’t forgotten the 23-27 loss at the hands of Mississippi that year. These two teams combine for 8 national championships but those trophies would need to be moved if either were lucky enough to win the first Wal-Mart NIT trophy.

This turned out to be a great game but Nebraska proved to be the charmed team. This 2007 version of the Huskers is a very special team. It takes a special team to average 54.3 points per game to end their season yet lose two of them giving up an average of 57.3 ppg. In the end the fact that the Cornhuskers have a player with the last name Lucky is what got it done. Marlon Lucky couldn’t be stopped and Nebraska beat the solid but unspectacular Ole Miss squad.

In the second round Nebraska ran into the buzzsaw that is the Minnesota Gophers.

The game was all about ball control and Minnesota had it last. They drove 60 yards on 21 plays as they scored as time expired, made the only converted PAT of the game and won ending the recent Cornhusker dominance…

Minnesota – 31
Nebraska – 30

According to the site:

That sets up a Minnesota vs. Notre Dame NIT Championship. Please vote as fan vote will account for 10% in determining who wins. The Gopher Nation writing staff which is NOT affiliated with the Writers Guild of America accounts for the remaining 90%.

Minnesota – Notre Dame is certainly a can’t miss affair.