Archive for July, 2008

Car vs. Bike

July 31, 2008

You want Ahman Green’s car? It’ll cost you five dollars. Ahman is raffling off his custom 2006 Dodge Charger for charity and all you have to do is go down to CarStar and buy a five dollar ticket and hope your name gets drawn. Other prizes include a skybox at a Houston Texans game this fall and Husker memorabilia.

Now, I pose an important question.

Dodge Charger vs. Harley Davidson. Who ya got?




vs.







Answer: The Harley Davidson.

Ahman says that his raffle ensures that a ‘regular’ person will win the Dodge Charger. You’re more than welcome to go buy all the five dollar tickets you want, but what Ahman is trying to say is that this car is going to some lucky guy that lives in North Omaha and more than likely makes a living on Ames Street. Plus, I loved Ahman as much as the next guy when he played at Nebraska, but I don’t need his autograph on my hood. On the other hand, riding along 16th street (sorority row) in the Harley Davidson translates into you picking up chicks. There is not one girl at the University that would turn down a ride. Chances of you hooking up with a dancer from ‘The Night Before’: roughly 100%.

And one side note: 1908 – 2008. It only took 100 years.

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Old School: 1979 Challenge Bowl

July 31, 2008

Today’s trip down memory lane takes us to the long lost days of post-season challenge games between conferences. This 1979 edition is the Olympia Challenge Bowl which paired a group of Big 8 all-stars against their Pac-10 counterparts and was brought to you by Grecian Formula (I kid you not). The video is Husker-centric highilighting the exploits of a bevy of former Nebraska greats including QB Tom Sorley, linebackers Bruce Dunning and Lee Kunz, kicker Billy Todd, offensive lineman Kelvin Clark and even current O-line coach Barney Cotton.

Unfortunately I can’t find a whole lot of information about this game even on the vast plains of the world wide web. About all I know is that this was apparently the second year of the game and it was played in the Seattle Kingdome. But if you’re thirsty for more, the game in it’s entirety appears to be available on the awesome site TV4U.com, which has tons of vintage college football match-ups and is now likely to kill an excessive amount of your free time.

Gilbert Arenas’ New Pool

July 30, 2008

Question: Want to know what a new $111 million dollar contract will buy you?

Answer: a pool and a mountain.

Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas just threw down a cool one million to have one of the most ridiculous (in a good way) backyards I’ve ever heard of. Arenas also happens to be a cousin of Nebraska cornerback Armando Murillo, making this story more relevant than you probably first imagined.




Some info about the pool:

* The stone for the “mountain” cost nearly half a million dollars.

* There are three different fish tanks, one going in the “grotto,” one in the front hall, and one in the basement. Their normal retail price would have been about another half-million.

* The tank in the basement will have a recess with a couch in it so Gil can “relax and look up at the fish.”

The pool is suppose to be done sometime next month and rumor has it, when it is finished, that it will be one of the biggest residential pools in the states. I agree with having a grotto or two or three. However, I can’t see having three fish tanks at about a half million. The only use for the fish tanks would be if you wanted to hire models to dress in mermaid suits to swim with the fish during parties. Also, who needs a mountain in their backyard? Unless you are going to build some sort of “Batcave”, it basically is going to take up a lot of space that could have been used for a stage full of stripper poles or even space for several cabanas. On the other hand, telling girls at the bar that you have a mountain in your backyard would be a good ice breaker. And let’s not kid ourselves, having a mural of yourself and your pitbull standing in front of the Capitol lets everyone know you’re important.

You know Agent Zero isn’t even close to putting on the finishing touches to this project. I can’t wait to see this finished project. In fact, DXP has already sent in our applications to be the pool cleaners.

Schmitts Gay Beer – SNL – Adam Sandler & Chris Farley

And ESPN’s TitleTown USA is…………..Valdosta?

July 30, 2008


In case you haven’t been watching ESPN for the past month, they held a “contest” called TitleTown USA, comparing different cities and their respective “championship pedigree.” A special panel of ESPN experts determined the 20 finalists and fan voting determined the winner. Contesting towns included such sports meccas as Massillon, Ohio and Parkersburg, West Virginia, along with virtual unknowns like Boston and Los Angeles. After heavy fan voting, the winning town was……….Valdosta, Georgia. When the winning city was announced, I said to myself, “Valdosta….Valdosta….how do I know that place?….isn’t that where the actor who played Lamont Sanford on Sanford and Son was from?”

Actually, I found that little fact on Wikipedia, as well as the demographics of this supposed “TitleTown.” Again, according to the greatest source of information ever assembled (other than DXP), Wikipedia tells me that Valdosta, a town of 124,000 people is home to Valdosta State University, which has won two Division II national championships in football, as well as dominating the high school football ranks with Valdosta High winning 23 state titles, and cross-town rival Lowndes adding another four. And according to voters, these D-II and high school titles are sufficient to earn Valdosta the moniker of TitleTown USA.

Like many, I was a little perplexed on several fronts. First of all, when did Comcast start installing cable in trailers so Georgians could watch ESPN? Secondly, where the hell was I when Georgians learned how to use the Internet? And finally, how do high school and D-II titles trump professional sports championships? If I were handing out the banner of TitleTown, I don’t think I could overlook an NBA title, three Superbowl rings, and two World Series wins in this decade alone. But somehow Boston came in 5th in the voting. Differentiating Boston and Valdosta on “championship pedigree” is like comparing Kathy Bates and Gisele Bundchen in a Victoria’s Secret audition. Let me try and explain the difference here. Winning ONE Superbowl, just one, has no NCAA Division II equivalent, but if it did it would be around 80 consecutive D-II titles combined with every high school football title in state history. So with that, I have decided Boston is TitleTown USA, with its 6 major pro sports titles this century already, and received a little help with my argument from the lovely Patriots and Celtics cheerleaders. The guys at Barstoolsports have already printed up the T-shirts.

Congratulations Valdosta. Now you can add more hardware to the trophy case that already includes titles in such competitions like missing teeth, unintelligible English, high school dropouts, percentage of population wearing overalls, and most concentrated Dukes of Hazard re-run demographic.


Welcome Freshmen. Now Cut Your Hair!

July 30, 2008

With the start of fall camp and school right around the corner, incoming freshmen are making their way to Lincoln. This means taking part in summer conditioning, being assigned a dorm room and a roommate, being granted a number on the official roster, and of course checking out the incoming freshman female talent. But here’s to hoping for at least two members of Nebraska’s 2008 recruiting class that their arrival in Lincoln also includes a trip to the barber.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you Exhibit A – Quentin Toailoa:


And Exhibit B – John Levorson:


Toailoa’s mane actually extends beyond the parameters of the picture!! Now I know that he has that whole Haka thing going on and perhaps the coif helps with that, but cripes, that’s a lot of hair. He could smuggle kickers in there. Levorson on the other hand is just a mess. Does the university not hand out those little black combs on picture day like my elementary school used to? Oh and the Tastee Inn called and they’d like their grease back (too obscure for those non-Northeast Lincoln folks?).

I heard stories during the glory years of the Peter brothers pinning players down and shaving their heads against their will at the outset of fall camp. Given the looks of things, I sincerely hope that’s another tradition revived under Pelini.

Bonus hair-related tunes from Pavement in one of their more celebrated tracks:

Recruiting Watch: David Oku

July 29, 2008

Running back David Oku is a senior out of Carl Alberts High (Oklahoma) who has narrowed his choice of schools down to five. Nebraska, Florida State, Michigan, Tennessee, and Illinois made the cut. Scout.com has Oku listed as a 5 star (6th overall RB) and Rivals.com has Oku listed as a 4 star (1st overall all-purpose back). He has good speed (4.47), great vision, and great cutback ability – think Lache Seastrunk without the Olympian type speed. His youtube video shows highlights of his junior season where he put up 1,628 yds (9.0 avg) and 20 TDs rushing as well as 71 yards receiving with 1 TD. The only downside to Oku is that his GPA is a 2.4 and his ACT is a ghastly 15 (which I assume he is retaking).

(make sure to watch until at least the two minute mark)

David Oku’s official dates:

1. Tennessee – Sept. 20th (vs. Florida)
2. Nebraska – Sept. 27th (vs. Virginia Tech)
3. Michigan – Oct. 25th (vs. Michigan State)
4. Florida State – Nov. 8th (vs. Clemson)
5. Illinois – Nov. 15th (vs. Ohio State)

Sam Webb from The Detroit News recently did a write-up about the recruiting of David Oku. David and his mother, Denise Moore, had some encouraging (from a Husker perspective) things to say.

About Florida State Oku says, “You can ask anyone here in Oklahoma who I like, and they’ll say FSU. I’m trying to separate that, though. I’m not going to let that affect where I go. I love the tradition at Florida State, but the thing about them is that they haven’t had a 1,000-yard rusher in like 10 years.”

About Michigan Oku says, “What coach Rich Rodriguez did at West Virginia was amazing and I think he’ll be able to do it at Michigan too. It’s going to take some time, but I think they’ll be great.”

His mother, Denise Moore, says, “I think David will be fine whether it’s warm or cold. He is used to playing in the cold. We get snow down here in Oklahoma…I always tell him that the academic part counts before the athletic part. You’ve got to find a school that you’re going to feel comfortable in and is going to give you the kind of education you desire because you never know what’s going on in football. You’re playing today and you could be hurt tomorrow. You’ve got to finish out your education and get your degree.”

And finally, Oku says, “I’d like to announce my choice on my birthday, which is October 10th.”

Alright, let’s sort this out. Although Florida State has always been his favorite, it seems as if he knows that FSU is where All-American high school running backs go to die. Oku also seems to know that it is going to be a few years before Michigan gets the right pieces in the puzzle there and lets be realistic here, anyone with a 15 ACT has no chance to make it academically at a Big 10 school (Michigan or Illinois). It’s clear that momma wants a degree for her son. In data released by the NCAA, Nebraska football has the highest graduation rate (88%) of any Big 12 school. Furthermore, Nebraska has 262 CoSIDA/ESPN Academic All-Americans (all sports) which is 61 more than #2 Notre Dame. Finally, Oku says he wants to make his decision by his birthday on October 10th, and if my math serves me right, that means he will have visited only two schools by then – Tennessee and Nebraska.

Here is your first assigment Cody Green. Go get him.

The Linebacker Mess Reexamined

July 28, 2008


The Oklahoman recently provided their rankings of the Big 12 linebacking units. The group of Nebraska linebackers came in on the list at #11. This is perhaps not surprising, but is disappointing nonetheless. This is what the article had to say about the Huskers’ LB corps.

11. Nebraska. Lost the top four backers, leaving Jenks’ Phillip Dillard heading the rebuilding effort.

We did indeed lose our top four LBs, and Dillard will be counted on to lead the unit. But a closer look shows just how bad things have gotten for the second layer of our defense.

The pre-Fall camp depth chart really highlights our lack of quality starters and depth. We’ve got a converted RB in Cody Glenn at one starting OLB spot and walk-on Tyler Wortman at the other. Colton Kohler, another walk-on who started his career at Nebraska Wesleyan and has never hit the field as a Husker is our backup MLB right now. Obviously incoming recruit Will Compton will push him for that spot when camp opens, but this remains a precarious situation.

When you take a look at the full roster, things remain almost as bleak. Overall 21 players are listed as linebackers on the official roster. Of those, just nine are scholarship athletes. And that number includes both Cody Glenn and four incoming freshmen in Micah Kreikemeier, Will Compton, Alonzo Whaley and Sean Fisher. The 12 remaining linebackers on Nebraska’s roster are all walk-ons. It appears that no other position has received nearly the bolster from the resurgent walk-on program than Pelini’s linebacking corps. But this may or may not be a good thing. At the current time it appears that every small town stud approaching 6-foot and 200-pounds is listed as a LB for the Big Red. The list is so out of control that uniform numbers have become scarce meaning the numbers 61, 62, 65, 66 and 71(?!) have all been assigned to linebackers.

So just how did we get here? For all the effort Bill Callahan and his staff put into recruiting, linebacker was one position hit hard by defections, near misses and decommitments. Callahan’s first class in 2004 included just two linebacker recruits in Michael Keenan and Lance Brandenburgh. Keenan left the team before making any kind of mark and Brandenburgh would be starting in 2008 had Callahan not burned his redshirt for a grand total of 3 special teams tackles that first year.

In 2005, the vaunted recruiting class included five LBs in Steve Octavien, Dontrell Moore, Jeff Souder, Phillip Dillard and Nick Covey. Octavien has moved on, Dillard will start in 2008 and Covey has yet to find a spot in Lincoln. Souder and Moore both left the team zapping our depth once again. In 2006, the lone linebacking recruit Steve Allen never made it to Lincoln. The class of 2007 gave us Austin Stafford and Latravis Washington who both should contribute this fall. The Huskers also just missed on Travis Lewis who picked Oklahoma and should be a stud in Norman for years to come. And finally Doug Rippy and Shaun Mohler both decommited following the coaching change which subtracted two more highly sought after linebacking recruits for good measure.

The end result of this mess is a linebacking unit that looks scary thin on paper, could perhaps have some quality young talent, and certainly has a glut of walk-ons searching to become the next Tyler Wortman. I doubt this is the kind of situation a coach like Pelini expects to inherit at a once-proud program such as ours. Ultimately the play of Nebraska’s linebackers will certainly help determine the success of our season. Here’s to hoping someone can step up in the new system.

Anyway, the summer job is over and I’m back to living and soon working normal human hours. So I should be back around DXP just in time for the kickoff of 2008.

Joba Chamberlain Goes Hunting

July 26, 2008


You either love or hate the New York Yankees, but I guarantee you that nearly 100% of Nebraskans love the Yankees when former Husker Joba Chamberlain takes the mound. On Friday, Joba (now close to being considered an ace) threw at the always douchebagalicious Kevin Youkilis of the Boston Red Sox for the fourth time (according to the Boston Herald) since last August.

In case you missed it…

New York was winning 1-0 in the bottom of the seventh inning and Joba had a 2-0 count on Youkilis. With nobody out, he fired a 93 mph heater right at him. (the Red Sox say it was at his head, I say bat.)


Somehow, he ducked and fell to the ground. The ball would end up hitting the bat and after Youkilis popped back up, he yelled at the umpire, “It was right at my f@#!ing head!” That would put the count at 2-1 and Youkilis would eventually strike out. The Yankees would go on to win 1-0 behind Joba’s 7 inning, 3 hit, and 9 strike out performance.

“Inside? It was at his head,”
losing pitcher Josh Beckett said adamantly. “Inside are the pitches I was throwing to Alex (Rodriguez) – I think Youk has some decent success . . . maybe took some good swings at him. It’s just one of those deals. They have a way of working themselves out.”

Joba would say later, “It’s 1-0 and I’m two balls and no strikes. I’ve got to throw a strike. I don’t want to get the leadoff runner on. That’s it. I’m trying to throw strikes.”

Don’t worry Joba. We believe you. (wink, wink)

If you remember, last August Joba threw two upper 90’s fast balls back to back over Youkilis’ head which landed him a two game suspension. The next time Joba pitches against the Red Sox can’t come soon enough. After the next ‘strike’ locates Youkilis’ head, I have a feeling there is a Kimbo Slice type of throwdown coming towards the pitcher’s mound if he’s still conscious.


I couldn’t think of one player’s head I’d rather see Joba throw lasers at than Kevin Youkilis. Maybe if he gives him enough ‘chin music’ that goatee will fall off. This is why the American League needs to get rid of the DH and allow pitchers to stand at the plate. Until then, carry on Joba.

"A Husker To The Bone"

July 25, 2008


Ironically born in Oklahoma, Husker fan Billy Egr soon moved to Nebraska and resided in both Omaha and Lincoln as an entertainer and disk jockey. Bill recently left for Nashville, TN to start a country music career and would also find a life in the ministry. He has just released a song entilted “A Husker To The Bone”. Anyone and everyone will tell you country music is not something I enjoy – AT ALL. However, as a Nebraska fan, this will work.

To listen to his song, follow this link, go down the left side under ‘tracks’ and click on “A Husker To The Bone”.

Since Bill is an ordained minister, he probably can’t show you the cowgirls that like country music and that might or might not show up for his shows. No worries, I’ll help us all out.




Josh Freeman Likes Himself

July 23, 2008


Nebraska fans are never going to like Kansas State QB Josh Freeman. That’s a given when you back out of a commitment the week before signing day by text messaging the coach.

At the Big 12 Media Days, Josh had this to say, “I have very high confidence that I’m the best quarterback in the league and, arguably in my mind, in the country. It’s just going to be a matter of going out and proving it on Saturdays. That’s really where it counts.”

When asked about Kansas QB Todd Reesing and Missouri QB Chase Daniel, Freeman says, “Those guys won last year. I’m not trying to put a damper on them, but teams that win games get recognized. That’s what I’m after.”

“I’d say I’m the best. That’s my opinion because of what I bring to the table. The other guys are good quarterbacks, but I have supreme confidence in my ability as a quarterback and a playmaker.”

When asked about WR Jordy Nelson (2nd round draft pick with 1,606 yards and 11 TDs last year), Freeman says, “He was a good player … a great player, I’d say. I was supposed to throw him the ball, so I threw him the ball…But I won’t miss him at all.”

Kansas State coach Ron Prince (a.k.a. coach Grimace) says, “I think there’s at least eight (quarterbacks) in our conference that are very confirmed on the national level as far as their ability, and (they) have the résumé to back it up. But I think our quarterback’s right up there with the very best ones nationally.”

“The future is in front of him. The sky is the limit. And like I said, I wouldn’t trade (him) with anybody.”

Here’s the reality of the situation, Mr. Freeman. In your two year career, you have 24 passing TDs and 26 interceptions. Your team is 9-12 when you started and that includes a loss to Baylor. I’d love to hear the reactions from Chase Daniel and Todd Reesing although I’m sure they have too much class to respond to that publicly. Prove something by winning before you declare yourself the best QB in the country (nevermind the Big 12 North). Maybe you should ask your coach to teach a little more in the offseason instead of doing appearances at McDonalds.