Take the Double Extra Points

Season: 0-0. (100%)

Finally. Eternity it seems.

First off, don’t forget to sign up for one of our two college football pick ’em contests. Click here to sign up for either ESPN or Yahoo. The two prizes for the winners this year are great documentary Husker DVDs from A&E that were sent to us. Jeffie will enlighten you all by his review soon. Even if you aren’t a Husker fan, contact ebay. Free money. Nonetheless, the documentary on Husker football they portray is awesome, trust me.

Speaking of free money, I like it. Study up here. Our stars are based on a 5 star system with 5 being the highest and 1 being the girl that A. Rose brings home on any given Friday night.


4* KANSAS (-33)
vs. Florida International: White Owl had a premonition. In that hallucination, he told me they win by 52. I’m not going to bore you with stats on this one. The Golden Panthers are going to get skinned, buttered, and eaten by coach Mangino.

4* TROY (-12) vs. Middle Tennessee State: I’m never one to throw out a 4 star pick (let alone probably a 5 star) if I am not serious. Here I am. Troy returns super dual threat QB Omar Haugabook who threw for almost 3,000 yards and rushed for over 600 yards as a BACK-UP. Two 600+ yard running backs are back with Troy. MTSU has nothing returning and playing the first game on the road, expect them to lay down and play as if they are playing a scrimmage. They have Maryland and Kentucky on deck.

3* ARMY (-6) vs. Temple: Stan Brock takes over Bobby Ross as Army’s new coach. As a long time NFL player and successor to Ross, Brock gets the privilege of taking Carson Williams and his 1,770 yards passing in which he earned a 109 rating last year at QB. Temple will be better this year, but they are not within a touchdown @ Army.


3* Clemson (-4.5) vs. Alabama: Clemson has more talent returning this year than the Spearmint Rhino on a Saturday night, and hopes are high in South Carolina. The Tigers were picked to win the ACC this year, marking the first time a Bowden that actually coaches games has been bestowed that honor in the conference. Playing at night on a neutral field in Atlanta will make the 4 1/2 points seem legit, but this is the same Alabama team that lost to UL-Monroe last year…..at home. The Tide has talent, but unlike the kind that comes to ‘Bama frat parties, this group might be too young and inexperienced to get the job done. Expect a statement game from Clemson, frequent score updates from the announcer with over half of the crowd unable to read, and 17,765 requests for 16 oz cans of Steel Reserve from concession vendors.

3* MICHIGAN (-3.5) vs. Utah: This one has me more nervous than an unemployed Morman roofer that doesn’t use protection on three underage girls, all complaining of early morning stomach cramps. Yes, Rich Rodriguez is a first year coach with a lot of first year players. Yes, a 1A team from the only part of the US without radio or telephone reception pulled a stunner here last year, but what are the odds lightening strikes twice? Well, it’s only 1 in 480,000, but that’s not the point. Utah might be a better team than Ron Prince, better known as Grimace’s alma matter (it all makes sense now, doesn’t it), but Michigan’s defense is more inpenatrable than the chastity belts on this year’s Utah sorority pledges (damn you Joseph Smith – or any other made up religion).

3* TCU (-6) vs. New Mexico: New Mexico hasn’t beaten TCU since Rod Tidwell was telling DXP to show him the money, and after 11 years, we’re not about to stop now. Like 50mg of Viagra, Gary Patterson also knows how to get his team up for openers against subpar talent. In its last three season openers, the Horned Frogs have given up a total of 17 points, as well as winning their last three road openers. There’s a better chance Google offers Jeffie YouTube money for the DXP website than the Lobos pulling the upset. Expect another TCU domination.


4 * MIAMI (OH) (-3.5)
vs. Vanderbilt: In true DXP fashion, we thought only a group of assholes or Iowans would allow readers to go into the weekend only up a C-note. This Thursday night game on ESPNU is a revenge game where Vandy won 24-13. This game is a clear case of two programs heading in the opposite direction. The Redhawks return 17 starters as opposed to Vandy’s 9. Coach Montgomery places a huge importance on games vs. the SEC and expect Yager Stadium to be packed vs. an SEC team.

4* KANSAS STATE (-25) vs. North Texas: North Texas returns 6 starters from last year that ranked the WORST defense in the country (even behind Cosgrove’s pinkshirts). Coach Grimace returns 7 starters from an offense that scored more than 29 points in the last 6 of 7 games. I call for an improved Wildcat team that brings in 19 Juco transfers that they found stuck in a Taco Bell drive thru. Just kidding Mark Mangino, I know how proud you are of Dion Rayford. With Montana State and a bye on deck, this game gets ugly early and expect Ron Bell back in McDonald Land by the end of the 3rd quarter.

3* OLE MISS (-7.5) vs. Memphis: If you bet Memphis’ opener last year, you were as lucky as the scores of Indiana undergrads who get to experience the brilliance of Dr. D’s marketing complex two times a week. Is it 4 Ps or 7 Ps? Memphis won 5 games in 2007 by 3 points or less while having a 10+ turnover margin. Houston Nutt takes over an Ole Miss program that has 16 starters back from a team that went 3-9. Ole Miss starts Texas transfer QB Jevon Snead and highly touted RB Enrique Davis. The Rebels make a statement here under new coach Houston Nutt.


This is new. It’s also worth your time. This is a pick that all five of the contributors love vs. the spread. This week, it’s Missouri (-6) vs Illinois. Bet your house, car, and RV. This game is not going to be close.


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