These Guys Get Paid To Do This?










Todd McShay (ESPN)







Matt Zemek (FSN)

You would think that after going 3-0 on last week’s Take the Double Extra Points feature and covering by almost 24 points per game, I would be happy today. Actually, I’m more pissed off than Norv Turner and Charger fans around the country. Why? Not because I was correct in my prediction that Ohio State would get embarrassed at the Coliseum, but because Todd McShay of ESPN and Matthew Zemek of Collegefootballnews.com said that I, and thousands of other college football fans, “don’t know college football if (we) thought Ohio State would get blown out” last Saturday. Maybe you two condescending douchebags can take your heads out of Jim Tressel’s ass long enough to enlighten the rest of the college football world exactly why we are so flat-out stupid to think that the most overrated college football team from the most overrated conference in America could get blown out on the road based on their ugly performance in Week 2 against the vaunted Ohio Bobcats? Please, snorkelers around the world have e-mailed me all week asking how you two were able to breathe during the game. Matthew Zemek stated in his own words:

“Very simply, ladies and gentlemen, if you think that Ohio State is in trouble against USC because of the way the Buckeyes played against Ohio, you know nothing about college football and have failed to pay attention to this sport during your lifetime.

Nothing more need be said.”

Todd McShay said almost the exact same thing on ESPN Radio a few hours before kickoff on Saturday afternoon. In the words of two of my favorite Jewish brethren, Penn and Teller: “When someone tells you that you are stupid for believing in the probability of an unknown outcome, you should see more red flags raised than at the 1936 Summer Olympics.” While we offer strong opinions here at DXP and expect our readers to have equally strong opinions of their own, we will never call them stupid and tell them they know “nothing about college football” if they disagree with us. If we were so bold as to make that claim, we would at least try to back it up with something we like to call “fact-based logic”, clearly a foreign term in the McShay and Zemek households. Quite frankly, Mr. Zemek and Mr. McShay, we know a lot about college football and don’t get paid to do it. Let me better explain why I thought the Buckeyes would be, well, the Buckeyes in the what ESPN ridiculously called “The Collision at the Coliseum” based on what I saw in person at the Horseshoe on September 6th.

First, QB Boo Jackson and RB Donte Harden, running behind an inferior Bobcat OL, piled up 118 yards on just 18 carries. Boo Jackson was able to scramble out of a collapsing pocket several times during the game, including 21 yards on the Bobcats’ lone TD drive. I was confident if Buckeye defenders looked that slow against Ohio, Joe McKnight’s shiftiness would give Tressel fits. The Buckeye D lacks lateral quickness and closing speed to prevent those type of plays and remind me of Nebraska defenses from the early 90’s. James Laurinaitis gets more tackles following 7 yard gains than any LB I have ever seen. Those tackles don’t seem so impressive when it’s 2nd and 3 all day. Most importantly, the Ohio D didn’t just shut down Ohio State’s offense, they had 3 or more defenders tackling RBs and QBs the entire game. I thought that if Ohio State’s flat-footed OL could not sustain blocks against Ohio, it would be a long day trying to get the running game going against Fili Moala, Kyle Moore, Everson Griffen, Rey Maualuga, and Brian Cushing. I could go on, but you get the idea.

We do actually do some research to come up with our DXP picks with some of it from being at the games. And please don’t tell us that USC would have beat every other college football team in America last Saturday. That may or may not be the case, but I can guarantee you that Oklahoma, Missouri, Florida, Georgia, and even LSU would have made it a game for more than 10 minutes. If Todd McShay really wants to help college football fans, he’ll stick to evaluating high school kids and leave the grown up analysis to people who can think for themselves. And Matt Zemek should take a sabbatical from telling the rest of us how much we know or don’t know about college football. We’re doing just fine, thanks.

“Very simply ladies and gentlemen, if you think a 12-point underdog can’t get blown out on the road based upon a terrible performance in the prior week, you know nothing about college football, math, statistics, and probabilities and have failed to pay attention to all sports during your lifetime.

Nothing more need be said, except…

Aaannngggrrryyy.”

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