Archive for December, 2008

Take the Double Extra Points: Bowl Extravaganza Part 4

December 31, 2008
To Big Red Country:

My Happy New Year’s wish for you
Is for your best year yet (in recruiting),
A year where life is peaceful (stay away Callahan),
And what you want, you get (Big XII Championship.)

A year in which you cherish
The past year’s memories (9-4?),
And live your life
Full of bright expectancies (12-2 next season.)

I wish for you a holiday
With happiness galore (and a Gator Bowl win);
And when it’s done, I wish you
Happy New Year, and many more (National Championships.)

We want to thank everyone who stops by DXP as our 2008 edition is officially in the books. We wish everyone a great 2009 and especially to Jeffie and the future Mrs. Jeffie Husker, who will be launching the second version of MTV’s ‘Newlyweds‘ next summer. I would like to be able to tell you what you can expect in 2009 from us, but as you know by now, we really have no clue about anything.

We know return you back to the bookie sheet with some analysis.

(A reminder that the ‘‘XtraWatchabilityPoint’ for this year’s bowl games are now being done by our game critic extraordinaire, A. Rose. The games are ranked in line with the watchability factor of dancers at five Las Vegas area clubs. From worst to first, they are: Glitter Gulch, Cheetah’s, Olympic Gardens, Scores, and the Spearmint Rhino.)

Thursday Jan. 1 11:00 am ET ESPN

Iowa (-3) over South Carolina – Only after Iowa’s upset win over Penn State late in the season did people start to take notice of the Hawkeyes and RB Shonn Greene, who finished the season the season with 1,729 yards and rushed for at least 100 yards in every game. Iowa (9-4) lost their 4 games this year by a combined 12 points while South Carolina finished the season with two losses to Florida and Clemson by a combined score of 87-20. South Carolina’s defense (#12) is great but their offense (#97) is horrid due to Qb play (go figure.) Iowa’s #13 ranked defense should fare well in this spot and as long as Iowa gets minimal mistakes from mobile Qb Ricky Stanzi, they win.
XtraWatchabilityPoint – You’re looking at Olympic Gardens again. It’s watchable, but don’t expect any high flying action. If no make-up or +2 enhancements is your thing, it could be a decent time, but don’t be surprised when you wish the cocktail waitresses were the ones with their clothes off.

Thursday Jan. 1 1:00 pm ET CBS

Nebraska (+3) over Clemson

This is a great matchup for Nebraska.

The only reason Clemson’s defense is thought of highly – #15 total defense and #9 pass defense – is simply a result of they haven’t played a passing team all year. Nebraska’s balanced rush/pass attack hasn’t missed a beat this under Shawn Watson as they have averaged 458 yards/game (#12) while ranking #36 in rushing and #14 in passing. Bo Pelini’s focus here will almost solely be on stopping RBs James Davis and CJ Spiller (leads the ACC in all-purpose yards.) Shockingly, Clemson’s rushing offense only put up 120 yards/game while Qb Cullen Harper threw for only 2,395 yards with 11 Tds/12 Ints – which combined puts Clemson’s offense in at #81.

The HUGE advantage Nebraska has here is at both lines. Clemson’s defenisve line averaged only 1.17 sacks/game (106th) while their offensive line gave up 2.33 sack/game (94th.) Nebraska’s defensive line, anchored by DT Ndamukong Suh who lead all Big 12 DL in tackles, accounted for 80% of the team’s sacks. And with the offensive line being as healthy as they have been since fall camp, expect the Huskers to dominate both lines of scrimmage and walk away here with plenty of momentum heading into next season as the Big XII North favorites.

Nebraska 34 Clemson 27

XtraWatchabilityPoint – I give this a Scores night rating. There’s something intriguing about Russian girls who couldn’t speak English 2 months ago, but have now mastered the art of emptying your wallet. Solid turnaround and highly watchable.

Thursday Jan. 1 4:30 pm ET ABC

Penn State (+10) over USC – Pete Carroll comes into the Granddaddy of Them All with a 5-0 lifetime record vs. the Big 10. This season, USC is 5-1 vs. bowl teams and 2-4 ATS while Penn State is 4-1 vs. bowl teams and 4-2 ATS. Against both runner-ups in the conference, USC handled Ohio State while Penn State handled Oregon State. Penn State wants to be here and although Carroll has said the Trojans are excited, they really wanted a Big 12 or SEC opponent for this year’s bowl game. Go with Joe Paterno and the Nittany Lions + the 10 points here as this Penn State team will come ready to play in what should be a low-scoring game that will be decided in the 4th quarter.
XtraWatchabilityPoint – This rates as a Spearmint Rhino game. Some of the best talent you will find across the country makes this very watchable. You’re likely to find at least one future Vivid or Wicked contract girl on stage.

Thursday Jan. 1 8:30 pm ET FOX

Virginia Tech (+3) over Cincinnati – Virginia Tech has now lost 4 straight BCS bowl games while this is Cincinnati’s first game on this stage. The Hokies defense has been their strong point this year as they have allowed only 17.5 points/game and are lead by shutdown CBs Victor Harris and Stephan Virgil, who should slow down great Bearcat WR Mardy Gilyard. Hokie Qb Tyrod Taylor and Rb Darren Evans should provide enough of a rushing game for Va Tech, who is 89-8 when out-rushing their opponents. Cincinnati will need a great game from Qb Tony Pike as Nebraska and Florida State were the only teams this year to score exactly 30 points on the Hokies.
XtraWatchabilityPoint – Glitter Gulch material. Unbelievable how a once proud institution has degraded to this unwatchable mess. If the cabbie didn’t kick you out on Fremont Street for making Al-Qaida comments about his name, you’d be at Scores by now.

Friday Jan. 2 2:00 pm ET FOX

Mississippi (+5) over Texas Tech – The Rebels’ 4 losses this season came by an average of 4.8 points/game, including a 4 point loss to Alabama. Qb Jevan Snead, a transfer from Texas, leads a potent Ole Miss offense that includes 2 running backs, Cordera Eason and Dexter McCluster, who were #7 and #8 in the SEC. Houston Nutt’s ‘Wild Rebel’ offense is run by McCluster, whose favorite target out of the formation is WR Mike Wallace, who had an astonishing 20.1 yards/reception this season. The Texas Tech defense has been soft at times this year and with the fact that Ole Miss wants to be here much more than Texas Tech, watch out for the outright upset.
XtraWatchabilityPoint – Solid Olympic Gardens watchability rating. Not the best of the best, but it’s still fun to watch that one hot stripper among a group of average talent get back up and stage and hopefully give you a 2-for-1 song special back in VIP.

Friday Jan. 2 5:00 pm ET ESPN

East Carolina (-2) over Kentucky – On paper, this game is about even as you can get. Both teams sport offenses that have been less than stellar (East Carolina #87 in points scored and Kentucky #90) this year due to injuries. These two teams come into this game on completely different patterns. Kentucky lost 4 of their last 5 games including Florida and Georgia while East Carolina won 6 of 7. Kentucky will be without starting Qb Randall Cobb, who recently had knee surgery, for the first time this season. East Carolina should be excited here to get a shot at the SEC and add to their impressive 2008 resume which included wins over West Virginia and Virginia Tech.
XtraWatchabilityPoint – Cheetahs on the worst imaginable night. Very unwatchable and even shocking to the talent downgrade after a promising start. A whole bunch of no-namers and very few that will make to the Spearmint.

Friday Jan. 2 8:00 pm ET FOX

Alabama (-9) over Utah – Losing OT Andre Smith isn’t going to help Utah much in this one as Alabama still holds a big advantage in the trenches. The only notable defense Utah faced all season, TCU, held them to only 13 points while Alabama held 9 opponents this season to 14 points or less. Utah last played back on November 22nd while Alabama last played on December 6th which means Utah will be going on well over a month without any game experience. Nick Saban’s Tide has way too much talent here for a Utah team that hasn’t seen an SEC team since the early 80’s. Rb Glen Coffee and WR Julio Jones will provide big plays for a surprisingly good Alabama offense that did move the ball on Florida.
XtraWatchabilityPoint – The ultimate Scores battle of fresh faces vs battle tested veterans. The up-start talent will make this very watchable against the much more talented A-teamers. Think of Gina Lynn from The Sopranos at Bada Bing in a pole war against the Bucci twins (just do the Google image search.)


Double Double Extra Lock

Saturday Jan. 3 12:00 pm ET ESPN2

Connecticut (-5) over Buffalo – I’m routing for Turner Gill here as much as you but let’s be realistic here. Buffalo managed a turnover ratio this year of +1.15 (6th) which would explain their 8 wins including a miracle vs. Ball State, a game where they were outgained by 202 yards. UConn RB Donald Brown had 1,923 yards with 17 TDs despite horrible Qb play (4 Tds/17 Ints.) The Huskies have plenty of talent on a defensive unit that allowed only 282 yards and 20 points/game. The miracle Bulls might be one miracle too short here.
XtraWatchabilityPoint – Another Glitter Gulch night, but at least there’s there some talent on Fremont Street after the World Series of Poker Main Event. The watchability might be low, but don’t be surprised to see some talent.

Thursday Jan. 1 1:00 pm ET ABC

Georgia (-8) over Michigan State – Remember when Georgia was preseason #1? Neither do I, but I do remember how talented they are. To go along with future NFL 1st rounders Qb Matthew Stafford and RB Knowshon Moreno, Georgia has the SEC’s top 2 leaders in receiving yards with WRs AJ Green and Mohamed Massaquoi. In Michigan State’s 3 games this season in which they were an underdog, the Spartans went 0-3 and lost by an average of 25 points/game. In fact, they were 0-5 ATS vs. the 5 teams they played this year with a winning record. If Georgia shows up, this one gets ugly.
XtraWatchabilityPoint – Another Scores battle. You have the highly rated former Vivid starlets that couldn’t live up to expectations and are relegated to making side money on a $29.99/month website that has 10 subscribers. It’s watchable, but the possibilities could have been so much more

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Missouri Wins Alamo Bowl! Fans Rejoice!

December 30, 2008

Congratulations Missouri. That 10-4 dream season capped off with a thrilling overtime win over mighty Northwestern is one for your record books. All I am going to say is have fun without Chase, Chase, Chase, and Jeremy. Buckle up for next season because it’s time to go back to reality.

P.S. – I wonder if the Missouri fans that commented here after I made this claim back in early November still think I’m the idiot?

Take the Double Extra Points: Bowl Extravaganza Part 3

December 29, 2008

Pelini and Venables Mix Business With Pleasure

December 29, 2008

Oklahoma defensive coordinator Brent Venables recently made a road trip to catch up on old times with Bo Pelini on December 13th. “We just combined a little bit of business with pleasure,” said Pelini, who coached with Venables as co-coordinators of the Oklahoma defense in 2004.

While I’m sure both coaches want to say it was more of a buddy-buddy get together, the fact is that Venables knows that when it comes to stopping the prolific Florida offense, Bo knows how. Pelini and the LSU Tigers were 2-1 vs. Florida during his time as defensive coordinator from 2005-2007. In those 3 games, Pelini kept the Gators to 24 or fewer points. That’s something nobody else has been close to duplicating since Urban Meyer’s arrival in 2005.

And judging by what Oklahoma’s defense has done in 2008, Venables is going to need all the help he can get.

Notable games from the 2008 Oklahoma Defense:

  • 26 points – Cincinnati
  • 45 points- Texas
  • 31 points- Kansas
  • 35 points- Kansas St
  • 28 points- Nebraska
  • 28 points- Texas A&M
  • 41 points- Oklahoma St

The Oklahoma Sooner defense ranks #63 in total defense and #57 in scoring defense this season which could put a little too much pressure on Sam Bradford and the offense if they can’t slow Florida’s multidimensional attack. Keeping the versatile Gators’ #3 scoring offense in check can be done if the Sooner’s can stop the run. Tim Tebow and the Florida offense passed for an average of only 212 yards/game this season which ranks them in at 61st.

I’d like to think that Pelini’s LSU defenses and the 2008 Oklahoma defense are compromable in talent which could fare well for the Sooners. I also believe that there is no question that Pelini’s advice will vastly improve Oklahoma’s chance. Slow down the run and you win the game. Simple as that?

College Bowl Pick ‘Em Contest Update

December 28, 2008

With the first week in the books, here is the first update of the blog showdown between the Huskers, Tigers, and Jayhawks from the Yahoo league. I’m really not sure as to what ‘MU Dylan’ knew that the rest of us didn’t know in his first 11 picks, but rest assured he is using up his confidence points faster than he can count them. I am also counting at least 5 Nebraska entries in the top 15 so job well done so far.

Rank
Pick Set
Points
Correct Picks
1 MU Dylan
172 8 of 11
2 Sammy Vegas
128 7 of 11
2 Husker TAZ 128 7 of 11
4 Harry Ballzonya 123 7 of 11
5 Steadfast Pigskins 1
119 7 of 11
6 Mac
116 7 of 11
7 R-score picks 109 4 of 11
8 FightTigersFight! 106 4 of 11
9 Tom S.
105 6 of 11
10 5 Star Prospect
96 6 of 11
11 109th Street Bum
95 7 of 11
12 Racist Dragons 91 7 of 11
13 Husker Power 85 8 of 11
14 Red Sea Surfer 79 7 of 11
15 Big Head’s Choke Job 76 4 of 11

Thanks for joining and good luck to all in…

Take the Double Extra Points: Bowl Extravaganza Part 2

December 23, 2008

GSeason: 55-47-1 ATS (54%)
Bowl Season: 2-3 ATS
Double Extra Lock: 9-4 ATS (69%)

There are only two times throughout the year when gamblers should take a leave of absence. One is March Madness and the other being the college football bowl season. To be able to know what type of performance your team is going to give is one of the great mysteries of life. However, we are men, therefore we must gamble.

Just a quick reminder that the ‘‘XtraWatchabilityPoint’ for this year’s bowl games are now being done by our game critic extraordinaire, A. Rose. The games are ranked in line with the watchability factor of dancers at five Las Vegas area clubs, which all have been thoroughly scouted on official DXP business trips. From worst to first, they are the Glitter Gulch, Cheetah’s, Olympic Gardens, Scores, and the Spearmint Rhino. For example, the ’06 Texas/USC title game would have been Spearmint Rhino material at 11pm on a Saturday night. You have one eye trained on the girl giving you a lap dance and another on the stage at all times.

POINSETTIA BOWL
December 23 7:00 pm CST ESPN
Boise State (+3) over TCU – One of these defenses has to give. TCU is ranked in the top five in total defense, scoring defense, rushing defense, pass-efficiency defense, sacks, red-zone defense, third-down defense and first downs allowed. Boise is ranked #3 in scoring defense as they have allowed 10 pts or less in 8 games this year. Both offenses have been proficient this year as Boise is 13th and TCU is 29th in total offense. Listen for the guys in the booth to drive home the point that one of TCU’s best defensive players, All-MWC LB Robert Henson, can’t help when he isn’t playing because of academics. If All-WAC QB Kellen Moore can have any success throwing the ball, expect Boise’s run game to open up enough to put more points on the board than TCU.

XtraWatchabilityPoint – You and your buddies told yourselves you would wait until the last night to hit up the Spearmint Rhino, but after being in Vegas for 3 hours, you already have the limo ready to roll on a Thursday night. The amount of underrated talent at the Rhino will make your head spin, and you could end up seeing the next Alektra Blue working the pole tonight.

SHERATON HAWAII BOWL

December 24 7:00 pm CST EPSN
Notre Dame (-1) over Hawaii – Notre Dame has lost 9 straight bowl games and a loss here would give Chuck Weis his 2nd losing season in only 4 years. At 7-6, Hawaii defeated New Mexico State, Idaho, and Washington State down the stretch to become bowl eligible. Hawaii’s leading rusher is posting a 36 yards/game average this season which is going to make inexperienced QB Greg Alexander beat Notre Dame’s talented secondary. Hawaii’s defense is bad – 72nd in scoring defense and 63rd in passing defense bad – and will get exposed by QB Jimmy Clausen and his boy toys, WRs Golden Tate and Michael Floyd. I’m pulling for Hawaii as much as the next guy is, but I also realize I have a gambling record that I need to improve.
XtraWatchabilityPoint – Hitting up Cheetah’s on a Friday night is almost sure to make you wonder just how good these girls could be with some implants and a little training on the pole. The talent is there, but it’s such a waste these girls will never see the big time. Still, there is some entertainment value in watching a hot chick slip and fall on stage multiple times from the10 shots of tequila and not lose her job.

MOTOR CITY BOWL

December 26 6:30 pm CST ESPN

C. Michigan (-6.5) over Florida Atlantic – Although Captain Kangaroo is bringing his taunted Owls and his lifetime 5-0 bowl record to this one, Central Michigan really has nothing to fear. I’m pretty sure this game has by far the two worst defenses in bowl game history. Central Michigan sports the 104th ranked defense while Florida Atlantic has the 92nd ranked defense. Beyond atrocious. Therefore, we need to ask which team will score more. Central Michigan has the 13th ranked passing offense and 23rd ranked total offense and is lead by 7th year starting QB Dan LeFevour, who lead the team in rushing and the MAC in total offense. Florida Atlantic is lead by a veteran QB of their own with Rusty Smith, but the offense ranks an abysmal 101st in turnover margin.
XtraWatchabilityPoint– We’ve all been there. The Glitter Gulch said “no cover” and “1 drink minimum” and you figured even though it’s Monday at 11am, you’ve got nothing better to do, right? Once you see there is a single Filipino girl who can’t speak English and only gets an A for cup size, you realize every shred of self-respect you might have had is long gone for watching this pathetic display.

MEINKE CAR CARE BOWL
December 27 12:00 pm CST ESPN
W. Virginia (-1) over N. Carolina – Trying to figure what teams will show up here is like trying to figure out what the girl you are hitting on at the bar all night will look like when the lights go on. North Carolina has blow-out wins over Rutgers, Connecticut, Georgia Tech, and Boston College to go along with losses to NC State and Maryland. West Virginia has wins over South Florida, Auburn, Connecticut, and Rutgers to go along with losses to East Carolina and Colorado. Carolina’s struggles at the end of the season were clearly the result of losing QB TJ Yates and WR Brandon Tate. The schizophrenic West Virginia offense (65th) is much better than North Carolina (95th) and QB Pat White will lead his senior-laden team in a going away party here.
XtraWatchabilityPoint – An off night at Score’s still isn’t the worst thing you can watch. There’s some underachieving talent and some surprisingly hot girls you never knew existed in the Czech Republic causing you to complete an on-line passport application at 4am and apply for multiple Eastern European visas.

EMERALD BOWL
December 27 7:00 pm CST ESPN
Cal (-8) over Miami, FL – Miami is without QB Robert Marve which isn’t going to help an offense that can get an average of only 328 total yards/game. Cal RB Jahvid Best is, in my opinion, the best running back in NCAA and it’s not close (no offense Shon Greene). Although he was hampered much of the year with injuries, he still managed 8.0 yards/carry and had a whopping 628 yards rushing in his last 3 games. In this game, he gets to face a Miami run defense that is ranked 69th and allowed 256 yards/game in their last 3. Cal’s defense, who held Oregon to 16 points and USC to 17 points, is too good to let the struggling Canes’ offense score much at all with their 2nd string QB.
XtraWatchabilityPoint – Cheetah’s just isn’t what it used to be. There’s some young starters here that have moved on to the pros in the past, but it’s still a rebuilding period. Once the bar tab gets out of hand you won’t have a hard time dragging yourself out of this place.

Double Extra Lock

CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL
December 27 3:30 pm CST ESPN

Florida State (-5) over Wisconsin -If there is a better coach than Bobby Bowden (19-9-1) when it comes to bowl games, then convince me. Wisconsin, who is 7-5 and finished the season with an overtime win vs. Cal Poly, is overmatched in every area here. RB PJ Hill will be the only weapon Wisconsin will have and unfortunately he gets to face a Florida State defense that is ranked #14 overall and has the #1 third down defense in NCAA. The day isn’t going to be any better for Badger QB Dustin Sherer – poster boy for the phrase ‘statue in the pocket’ – as he boasts a 115 QB rating with 5 TDs/5Ints and a total of 42 rushes for 10 yards on the season. Unfortunately for Wisconsin, you can’t coach speed and you might witness the biggest example you’ll see this bowl season of just that. Florida State is loaded with talent and their football team is pretty good as well.
XtraWatchabilityPoint – It’s USC song girl night at Olympic Gardens. Just like the SDSU girls, the college co-eds from USC are making the 45 minute flight on a weekly basis, only to find a sugar daddy or at least pay the steep tuition bills. You are shocked to find out the payback period for the +2’s in this place averages one weekend.

DeAndre Brown’s Leg Is Not Feeling Good

December 22, 2008

Southern Mississippi WR DeAndre Brown will not be having a good holiday vacation. In last night’s overtime win vs. Troy, it appeared as if Brown broke both bones in his lower leg while attempting a catch early in the first quarter. The true freshman, who was considered one of the biggest recruits in Southern Mississippi’s football history, had just set the school record with 67 receptions on the season (1,108 yards and 12 TDs). It’s unfortunate to say the least.


This is the same injury as Houston freshman WR Patrick Edwards sustained earlier in the year. And although there are two different mechanisms of injury, both are brutal and both require rods to be placed in the leg. It’s hard to say if either standout receiver will ever reach their full potential because of these injuries, but the one thing that is certain is that both will have a long rehab process ahead of them.

Every time I see this type of injury, I can’t help but think of former Husker TE Matt Herian and what became of him.

Jason Ankrah Choo-Choo-Chooses Nebraska

December 21, 2008

Jason Ankrah (Gaithersburg, MD), the 10th rated DE on rivals.com and the 26th rated DE on scout.com, committed to Nebraska on Sunday over Michigan, Penn State, and Maryland. Highly rated defensive tackle Terrence Stephens, Ankrah’s high school teammate who visited Nebraska with him back in November, has recently committed to Stanford. Regardless, one out of two ain’t bad here.

On another recruiting note, QB Cody Green‘s Dayton High Broncos lost in the Texas Class 4A Division II state championship game to Sulfur Springs 69-49. In a game where there was 1,402 total yards, 63 first downs, and 118 points scored, Green had his share in the stat book with 329 passing yards (23/34) and 6 touchdowns as well as another 94 yards rushing. Sulfur Springs QB Tyrik Rollison – the #2 dual-threat quarterback in this year’s recruiting class (uncommitted) – threw for 398 yards and 4 touchdowns and rushed for 126 yards and 3 touchdowns. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t eight-man football.

Take the Double Extra Points: Bowl Extravaganza

December 18, 2008

Season: 55-47-1 ATS (54%)
Double Extra Lock: 9-3 ATS (75%)

It’s that time of year again to entertain our gambling friends for a few straight weeks with our Bowl Extravaganza. Our ‘Double Extra Lock’ was stellar this year as it hit a whopping 75% of the time. We’ll try to preview and pick each and every game on a weekly basis as the bowl season goes on as well as give you a few reasons to watch or not watch. The ‘Double Extra Lock’ will be done whenever a pick like Saturday afternoon’s game presents itself and begs us to take it.

As I mentioned, new this year is the ‘XtraWatchabilityPoint’ for this year’s bowl games done by our one and only game critic, A. Rose. The games will be ranked in line with the watchability factor of dancers at five Las Vegas area clubs. From worst to first, they are the Glitter Gulch, Cheetah’s, Olympic Gardens, Scores, and the Spearmint Rhino. For example, the ’06 USC/Texas title game would have been Spearmint Rhino material at 11pm on a Saturday night. You have one eye trained on the girl giving you a lap dance and another on the stage at all times.

Example:

Glitter Gulch =

Spearmint Rhino =And just a quick reminder that it is not too late to join DXP and fellow Big XII blogs Mizzourah and Kansas – It’s Business Time for our Yahoo College Bowl Pick ‘Em contest. There are at least 50 people signed up thus far from all three sites and I’ll be sure to post updates as the contest moves along. Click here to sign up.

Name: Big 12 Ballers
ID: 21770
PW: big12

Please, let’s not let Missouri and Kansas fans be victorious over us in a football contest. Sign up and be sure to let me know when your name hits the leaderboard.

December 20, 2008

EAGLE BANK BOWL
Wake Forest (-3) over Navy: This is the first time in over half a century that Wake Forest is playing the same team twice in the same season. On September 27, Navy went to Wake and defeated the then #16 ranked Demon Deacons 24-17, which happened to be only one week after Wake beat Florida State. Suffering from a big hangover and trying to deal with the triple option was something Wake wasn’t ready for. Having seen the same triple option already this season, having better athletes, and having almost a month to get ready for this revenge game clearly gives Wake the advantage here.
XtraWatchabilityPoint: This is Cheetah’s at 7pm on a Thursday. If you are getting killed on the tables, you might as well check it out, but don’t expect Lanny Barbie to be a featured dancer. Somewhat watchable, but you won’t be tipping the VIP guy anytime soon for some “privacy” at this place.

ST. PETERSBURG BOWL
Memphis (+13) over South Florida: I bet you’re dying for a statistic right about now. Since 1996, underdogs by more than 12 points that don’t play on New Year’s Day or after have covered 9 out of the last 11 games. That’s 82% of the time according to my abacus. The South Florida Bulls get rewarded for losing 4 of their last 5 games (straight up) by making a 20 minute commute down Interstate 275 to Tropicana Field for their bowl game. Although Memphis finished the season at 6-6, they were competitive in every game even with their 3rd and 4th string quarterbacks for much of the season. The talented Tigers should be healthy here and will no doubt be much more excited to play in this one than their counterparts.
XtraWatchabilityPoint: A solid Cheetah’s Tuesday afternoon game. You have to be a complete degenerate to hit up this place during the daylight, knowing you’ll walk away a little disturbed from the bruises you are about to witness, but at least it’s not Fremont Street. And they have video poker.

LAS VEGAS BOWL
BYU (+3.5) over Arizona: Talk about your all-time bad luck. What are the odds that in your first bowl game in over a decade you get to go to Sin City and play against a team of Mormons? Nothing against Mormons, but while the playboys from Arizona are going to be enjoying their time roaming the slot machines at 3 a.m., the Cougars are going to be enjoying their game preparation. The Mountain West was an astonishing 6-1 vs. the Pac-10 this year and BYU has beaten the Pac-10 the last 5 out of 6 times. Arizona did have a very good year with close losses to USC and Oregon, but their last credible win came in early October vs. Cal. BYU’s QB Max Hall has completed 69.8% of his passes this year and should be ready to light up an Arizona defense giving up over 300 passing yards/game.
XtraWatchabilityPoint: Olympic Gardens on a Saturday night. You have to admit, you can still find a diamond in the rough, even at a few of the old hotspots. At least a few of girls look like surgically-enhanced Pi Phis from San Diego State dancing for book money, which you supplied for all four semesters of their junior and senior years.

December 21, 2008

NEW ORLEANS BOWL
Southern Miss (+4.5) over Troy: The oddsmakers haven’t underestimated the Sun Belt champions from Troy here. Two of their four losses came at Ohio State – where they outgained OSU in total yards – and at LSU – a game where they were leading 31-3 at one time. In only one game this season have the Trojans been outgained in total yards and that was at Oklahoma State. Troy’s backup QB Levi Brown has stepped in at the midpoint of the season and threw 14 TDs/3 Int while their pass defense has allowed less than 180 passing yards/game and only 20 points/game. After losing 5 straight this season, S. Miss rolled off 4 straight wins to end the year by winning by an average of 34-9. Junior RB Damion Fletcher, who has 6.0 yards/carry, and freshman QB Austin Davis, who has 21 TDs/8 Ints (only 2 Ints in his last 7 games), provide the Golden Eagles with the 21st best offense in college footballl. Also, be sure to keep an eye on true freshman WR DeAndre Brown, who has 12 TDs and a 200 yard receiving game under his belt, as he could be the difference maker here. Take the hotter team here + the points.
XtraWatchabilityPoint: You’re still at the Glitter Gulch at 4am on a Monday night? It’s only a matter of time before a 40-year Asian giving you a table dance decides to offer up a “sneak peak,” hopefully sending you back to the hotel until the Mandalay Bay topless pool opens at 9am.

DOUBLE EXTRA LOCK

DECEMBER 20, 2008
NEW MEXICO BOWL
Fresno State (-2.5) over Colorado State: If you need an example of why there are too many bowl games, then look no further than the 2008 Colorado State Rams. Their best win of the season came in week 1 against Houston by 3 points at home. And after starting the season with a 4-6 record, they squeaked out wins over New Mexico and Wyoming to finish at 6-6 with an offense that barely scores over 20 points/game. It took Fresno until the 10th game of the year to finally cover a point spread – thus the low points here. Coach Pat Hill was passed over for yet another BCS conference job at Washington and his focus here will solely be on his young, talented team as they look ahead to next season. Take back all of those Christmas gift certificates you bought and tell Best Buy that you need to double down.
XtraWatchabilityPoint: I give this game a Glitter Gulch at 8pm on a Friday rating. The talent will definitely not amaze you and you are probably hoping for some better scenery, but hey, at least it’s their A-team manning the poles and you noticed that one girl doesn’t have C-section scars.

Adolf Hitler Weighs In On Charlie Weis

December 18, 2008

When Hitler was drawing up his war plan for the 2009 football season, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t planning on General Weis leading the players into battle. (probably NSFW – language)

Thanks to DXP reader Paul for this masterpiece. Next thing you know, couples in New Jersey are going to start naming their kids Adolf Hitler.