Time Travel is Possible (Part II)


For all you loyal DXP readers, you might remember the 1st installment in the “time travel” series from last year here. A broke, degenerate Adrian Peterson traveled back in time and lost his mind at a Jacksonville Subway, calling the cops as his sandwich wasn’t made according to his instructions. I speculated that he might be delivering a Gray’s Sports Almanac for current AP, but there was not a single perfect NCAA b-ball bracket in the $100 million challenge, which AP obviously would win if my theory held water.

It appears more evidence has emerged to support the age-old question of whether or not it’s possible to bend the space-time continuum. This time it’s not some washed up homeless guy pulling a Hal McRae at Subway. That’s right, Oklahoma superstar Blake Griffin has traveled back in time and somehow became New York Governor David Paterson.


Un-fu*king-canny, right? I mean, when I saw these photos it was like I was riding in a car with Chris Brown on the day of the Grammys. BAM, right across the face. But why did Blake Griffin come back to become the Governor of NY? Forget the Biff Tannen bringing back a Gray’s Almanac this time.

I guess a multi-million dollar contract and Lottery pick in the draft wasn’t enough for Griffin. I’m guessing he chose New York for the prestige and future political potential, and the timing is pretty obvious. With No. 9 getting caught banging a high dollar hooker, Griffin waltzed right into office.

I’m not even kidding when I say Griffin will be the next President. Obviously he had to leave the NBA early with Dwight Howard or Kevin Garnett poking him in the eyes and knocking out his vision. I’m guessing this post might create a little controversy in New York today though. I mean Syracuse and OU tip off in a matter of hours. Will the New Yorkers cheer for the in-state team or for the team their future Governor plays for? This story is so much bigger than the UConn story it’s not even funny. You’re welcome Jim Calhoun, me breaking this little gem should take the heat off your boys for the rest of the tourney. And for no reason at all, former NY Governor No 9’s hook below:

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