Archive for the ‘A. Rose’ Category

No $$$ for the G.I. Joe with the Kung-Fu Grip??

September 22, 2008
people who own the pork belly contracts are saying, “Hey, we’re losing all our damn money, and Christmas is around the corner, and I ain’t gonna have no money to buy my son the G.I. Joe with the kung-fu grip! And my wife ain’t gonna f… my wife ain’t gonna make love to me if I got no money!” So they’re panicking right now, they’re screaming “SELL! SELL!” to get out before the price keeps dropping. They’re panicking out there right now, I can feel it.”
Well, they sure are panicking out there. Billy Ray Valentine says “wait until Citigroup hits $10 before you buy… should’ve cleared out all the suckers by then.” Thankfully we can focus on college football instead of 401(k) statements and CNBC. Just a few quick notes on the upcoming Va. Tech game, that looks more winnable for the Huskers than it did at the start of the season. Steve Sipple of the Lincoln Journal-Star gives us a 65% chance to win this one. I’m going with a 75% probability of a Husker win for a couple of reasons. A nationally televised night game gives the Huskers a slight edge, but the lack of any Hokie passing attack will be the real difference. Key to this game will be turnovers and special teams play. If Nebraska doesn’t turn the ball over and doesn’t make any special teams blunders, I don’t see Va. Tech scoring more than two touchdowns in this one. The Hokies have a mobile QB in Tyrod Taylor, but he has yet to show much of a threat with his arm. The Huskers have looked pretty good stopping the run so far this year, and with a bye week to get healthy for this one, I see a Husker win and return to the top 25 for a showdown with Mizzou.

60% Of The Time, It Works Everytime

September 16, 2008


“That doesn’t make sense”

“So, let me get this straight, if the party starts at 8….why are we going to the bar at 10?”

It’s not even the end of September yet, and already the world is turned upside down. I don’t even know where to begin. Let’s see, how about the leading Heisman Trophy candidate is a quarterback……from Missouri. The team leading the Big 12 in rushing is Oklahoma State at 334 yards per game. Steve Spurrier is the 4th best coach… the SEC East. Michigan has the 4th best record……in the state of Michigan. Auburn wins a football game… scoring 3 points (nice 5* Phil Steele… are officially dead to me). The best game of the season west of Colorado could be Utah vs. BYU. The top two teams in the Big East are South Florida and UConn. The most exciting freshman player in the Big 12 is from Baylor. With one more win Notre Dame will match its total…..from all of last season. And to top it all off, the DoubleExtraLock of the Week is an astounding 3-0 for the year. Maybe the Mayans were right and we do only have until 2012 before it all ends. Think about when you ever thought you would see the day when a hummer (leisure activity) would cost more than a Hummer (motor vehicle), you’d feel sorry for people who own their house vs. rent, a plane ticket would cost less than the fee to bring 2 bags along, and Budweiser AND Miller are no longer American companies? Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little there, but not by much.

Yes, I know it’s early and we have a lot of football games left to play, but when it’s all said and done there’s always a few major surprises for the year. Boise St. in ’06, Kansas and Mizzou last year, and this year? How about Bo Pelini leading the Huskers to a 10-2 season? I mean, crazier things have already happened, right? If you need more evidence, look at the major league standings. In mid-September, the team with the best record in the National League is………the Chicago Cubs. Is it time to start thinking about who throws out the first pitch in the World Series? Speaking of Miller Time……….