Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Greatest. Headline. Ever

January 26, 2007

Leave it to the Onion to bust out Bears Lead Rex Grossman To Super Bowl

“All season long, the Bears have shown that they can win, even in the presence of Rex Grossman.”

Well played.

Oh, and go check out this post from Saurian Sagacity on the geographic distribution of talent in college football. It is a pretty decent piece of analysis and certainly explains some of the barriers impacting the Nebraska coaching staff.

And don’t miss Mr. Irrelevant’s look at the year that was the hotness of Erin Andrews. How on earth did I miss the pic of the Iowa kid groping her?

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Totally Nutts!

January 17, 2007


On Monday Houston Nutt lost his offensive coordinator, when Gus Malzahn left for greener pastures and the same position with Tulsa. Nutt’s week got worse on Tuesday when former prep-phenom QB Mitch Mustain asked for and received his release from the university. You might remember that Malzahn was Mustain’s high school coach and was offered the offensive coordinator job during Nutt’s courtship of Mustain. The exodus from Fayetteville also includes WR Damian Williams who transferred in December.

The mass departure seems to stem from unhappiness with the way Nutt was running the team. Malzahn was apparently upset after being told that his role with the team would change and he would be forced to share the offensive coordinator spot with quarterbacks coach David Lee. Mustain and Williams were upset about the offensive system that was being run by the Hogs. The high school teammates’ parents (including Mustain’s mother Beck Campbell)met with Athletic Director Frank Broyles during the season to protest that the Arkansas offense failed to resemble that which was run by Malzahn at Springdale High.

Wow, this production makes the Harrison Beck/Evelyn Beck-Bothwell fiasco this August in Lincoln, look a lot less melodramatic.

U.S.C. – Underwear Seemingly Concealed?

January 2, 2007


Ahh, the pageantry of the Rose Bowl. Seeing this view of a USC Song Girl, just gave me the “Grandaddy of them all” in my pants.

HT – Michigan Sports Center

Separated at Birth?

December 27, 2006


Nebraska’s Stewart Bradley arriving in Dallas for the Cotton Bowl and famed comedian Gallagher. I just hope Stew brought his Sledge-O-Matic to drop on Auburn.

*Stewart Bradley Photo Credit: HuskersIllustrated.com

War Eagle? Go Tigers?

December 5, 2006


I promise I will have a lot more upcoming on Auburn as the Cotton Bowl approaches. However, I first thought it important, to better understand their mascot. You see, Auburn seemingly has two mascots. I found this to be extremely confusing at age 4 when the Tigers/War Eagles last visited Lincoln and I find it just as confusing now. Apparently I am not alone. The university devotes an entire page to the clarification of this issue.

So Auburn’s nickname is the TIGERS, while Auburn’s battle cry is “WAR EAGLE!” It is all so clear now.

As usual, M Zone jumped on this almost a year ago and had all sorts of fun creating the school’s new hybrid mascot – the Auburn War Tig…eag…er!

Nicely done.

Michigan bloggers love the BCS and want to have a million of its babies

December 5, 2006

I can’t even imagine what I would write or who I would blame if this ever happened to Nebraska. I can only hope that I would handle it with dignity and class…just like these guys.

First is Brian at M Go Blog. You have to hand it to the guy, even his most vitriolic declarations are exquisitely written. I only wish my students could frame their thoughts this well.

“There’s no conspiracy here save that of stupidity. The BCS is a Lovecraftian monster with parts swiped from any system that was handy. A playoff beak here; bowl tentacles there. It is a playoff, a two team playoff, which is no playoff at all. It has ruined college football’s most hallowed traditions, kicked a half-dozen teams directly in the nuts, and given us mostly grief. The people who run the BCS are, bluntly, idiots. The Harris poll has talk radio hosts in it and guys who vote Boise #2. Richard Billingsley’s formula is a disjointed mess. The rest of the computers are crippled by an inability to consider the same factors humans do. The coaches — glorified gym teachers all — are hopelessly biased. Only Jim Tressel, who abstained after looking at the absurdity of picking one of two teams and seeing it spun as an insult to his opponent either way, seems sane to me.

And somehow people who oppose a playoff will tell me that watching a bunch of idiots decide that my 11-1 team doesn’t deserve to go to the national championship game because there’s a much worse 12-1 team that had the good fortune to play in a conference without Ohio State is a beautiful thing that adds to the unique charm of college fooball. To them, I only say that I wish you would die in a hideous and painful fashion because a bunch of gym teachers held a vote.”

The folks at the M Zone suspect the infamous Katherine Harris is behind key component of the BCS formula the Harris Poll. I was living in Florida during the 2000 election and it wouldn’t surprise me a bit to find out Mrs. Harris did indeed have her hands in this mess as well.

“Yesterday, her poll declared Florida #2, leapfrogging the University of Michigan, and sending the Gators to the championship game in Glendale, Arizona, to face Ohio State. But the MZone has learned Harris unilaterally certified her poll’s results before anyone could question some of the irregular voting in the Harris Poll.

“I didn’t need people asking stupid questions like who the fuck are the jokers in the Harris Poll and why do some ballots make no sense,” said Harris when asked if she thought that was proper. “It’s Florida and involves voting, so we’ll do things how I damn well please.”

Ronald Bellamy’s underachieving All-Stars will probably be receiving some restraining orders.

“Fuck Florida, fuck Fox, and fuck the BCS. That selection show of theirs was like watching QVC cover the presidential election. Don’t worry though, Fox has its best men on the job to announce the games, including Howie Long, Terry Bradshaw, Pat Haden, Barry Alvarez, and Thom Brennaman, who described it as “an odd situation.” CAN YOU FEEL THE PASSION!?!?!?!”

Maize n Brew thinks Urban Meyer might want to see a urologist.

“How 71% of the coaches who voted on this thing lost their {bleep}ing minds in the span of 24 hours utterly baffles me. Yes Florida played 13 games. Yes they only lost once and won their conference championship. Fine, the streets of Gainesville are lined with gold and Urban Meyer pees a stream of diamonds that smell like sunshine.”

Hey, if passing precious stones is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

A playoff would do nothing, but rob us of these brilliant reactions. This is what makes college football so great…and so humorous.

Matt Slauson – Tatonka

November 27, 2006

The best part of working on this site is the amazing finds that wind up in my inbox. I just got this picture of Matt Slauson sporting his buffalo suit as promised after Friday’s game. The emailer wanted to remain anonymous so thanks to the random Husker fan for this great pic.

I’m excited that Matt is going to be around for a few more years. Not only because of his talent on the field, but also because he seems to be a riot off the field. Well played Mr. Slauson.

Trick or Treat – Linebacker Style

October 31, 2006

Here are Nebraska linebackers Corey McKeon and Stewart Bradley spending their Halloween weekend in an enviable fashion. Yes, that is McKeon as the Hulkster and I have no idea what Bradley is besides pretty (and very, very lucky).


Well, I guess that’s one way to get over a devastating defeat. And isn’t it amazing what people find on the internet?

BEAT TEXAS!

October 20, 2006


Before I head out to Lincoln, I thought I would leave you with this. Yes, that is our own Matt Slauson in all his glory. Major props to DXP fan and UNL student, Chuck for this disturbing find.

Clearly Jordan Monroe isn’t the only centerfold on campus. Slauson appears to be following in the footsteps of former Husker Roger Craig, who had a “brief” career as a Calvin Klein model for Macy’s in 1990.

Can I say one thing to you, Matt? And I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality…you’re fabulous!